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Hi Patric… …I hate you!

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This was one of those times when I reacted differently from the other adults in the room who heard the same thing.
This little boy is always happy to see me, happy and cheer every time.
Then he asks when I will come and work in his class again.

New school

When I replied that I would stop at the school and start at another school.
He changed immediately, and his smile disappeared. Instead he raised his voice and almost screamed “I hate you!”

Other adults who stood by and smiled at his past behavior, began to chide his outburst. And the only thing he could do was to back away.

I on the other hand, smiled, and said that it is ok to be upset and maybe sad when he got the news I am changing school. You are aloud to be sad.
When I told him what I saw, and guessed what he really felt, so he was a little more relieved.
For he replied namely by saying, “I think it’s sad that you must change school.”

Different expressions for different emotions

A little boy may have difficulty expressing themselves and can easily go on the defensive, it is understandable. I think it’s up to adults to try to see behind the words, to see what the child tries to express.
I went on to explain to the boy that it is possible to say the same things in different ways. Now I understood that you were most sad and perhaps disappointed that I would stop. Furthermore, did you find out the here and now, it was a surprise to you. And then I realize that you responded in this way.

I kept my calm and my smile.
Because he needs to know what he can do and how he can do next time, when expressing his feelings. It is all too often as adults correct children without explaining the options.

When the opportunity comes up as it did here, take it and use it for the best.
This boy got to know that it was ok to express himself, he could also see how people react to the way he expressed himself. And finally, he received options.

I think it was a wonderful short story. Once again I had to opportunity to help a child using my patient and my training in sorting what I hear and what I see.
The more often we take advantage of these occasions, the easier we can help our children express themselves as the best they know it.
And know that it is ok.

Good luck with your sorting.

Patric

ps happy new year, what is your New Year’s resolutions. Please tell me, especially if they have a bond to parenthood.

Author: Patric Brask

Patric är en stolt pappa till två underbara barn och har arbetat med barn och ungdomar i över 25 år. I sin debutbok har Patric samlat upp mycket av den erfarenhet och pedagogik som har har lärt sig och använd under alla år han har arbetat med och uppfostrat barn. Som läsare får du en inblick i Patrics värld och den vardag han lever i och med barnen. Han ger dig tillgång till den pedagogik han själv har byggt upp och använder med framgång i sitt arbete. Boken är skriven på ett målande och levande sätt med inspirerande och konkreta exempel. Genom boken får du som förälder pedagogiska, enkla och fungerande råd och tips om hur du kan behålla ditt lugn och få dina barn att lyssna på dig. Patric håller också kurser om föräldraskap och barnuppfostran.

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