These three emotions are particularly important for cooperation between people, ie parents and children, to become as good as possible.
As a parent it is your job to create the ways you can, to ensure that your / your child feel important, that they feel competent and cared for.
It is so important that you make sure to create this in children, because it is a cornerstone in building self-esteem.
This in turn will provide an inner strength of your children that will help them choose the things they enjoy doing. Which in turn leads to the impact on their peers to do the same.
It will be a positive spiral.
As a parent it is a big responsibility, I know, and we might as well make the best we can, now.
The impact you make as a parent takes place at both behavioral and emotional level.
To do something together is related to the feeling of being important, it matters less WHAT you do together as long as you are doing SOMETHING.
Allowing children to be involved in things that they may exercise some control is related to the feeling of being competent. For example, if you must shop, go to the bank and go to the post office. Can you let the child decide the order in which you are making all the erands.
Talking to the kids and let them vent what is important for them, teaching them to open up and it related to the feeling of being cared for.
You show that you care and love the child no matter what they do, that there is a difference between the child as a person and what they do.
A lifelong ”job”.
This is a work in progress we get started and then maintain, there’s always more to learn. The ”work” you engage will present challenges, it leads to improvements through the experiences that you make along the way.
It’s your picture of reality being trimmed, your version is certainly different from how your child sees the same reality. Keep that in mind and practice to distinguish between what you see, what you think and what you feel. By practicing these three different ”techniques” you increase your ability to understand what is really happening and what’s all about your thought patterns.
This will allow you to better support your children and guide them through all sorts of trouble.
You will be a wonderful parent.
I wish you a very happy and a wonderful New Year.