I don´t have anytime for my children, what I am to do?


Whether you are single or have a family that is everyday life is often a race against time. And it’s usually a matter of priorities.
Our society has built up an image (illusion) on how familys should spend their time.
But it is you who has the power to decide how to allocate your family time.

I know that parents work very hard for everyone to get their needs satisfied, and this in turn often implies a need to earn more money, which in turn leads to working overtime. Overtime leads to a bad conscience, which leads to overcompensation, which means that they need to earn money to buy new things, which leads to more overtime and so on.

I did as most others, and began to work much more when my first child arrived. I wanted ensure that there was enough money for everyone’s needs. Until my wife sat down with me and told me what was important to her. And this was (is) a very good idea, a great way to communicate.
She had a greater need of me being home and helping out, be of her support so that she had the feeling of being important. I felt I did best making money, because the mother had all that it took.
Milk.
I felt more in the way and as a butler, until I realized how much all this ”around” work meant to her.

If parents begin communicate, it’s easier to talk about the situation and come to a great solution. Each family’s situation requires that parents sit down and write down what is important for their family. Then it is much easier to see where all your time goes and what needs more time.
A lot of time is lost where you least expect it, to create a ”time diary” is a great help.

In my home TV takes a lot of time away from family time, or used to I should add.
To keep the house as clean as ”all others” houses are taking much time. Children need a lot of time, and they will do what they need to get the time (= attention) as they want.
Children know what works, and it is adults who decide whether there should be positive or negative attention.
Negative attention steals time and energy from parents. Parents create positive attention by actively thinking of how they want things.

Parents need more support to understand how to decide and what is important. Instead of having society influence how parents should handle their lives.

Children rarely care if it is a bit untidy, or if the laundry is folded. But they love when parents play with them.

Summary:
Time is to be used and you decide how.
To look in ”society” is indeed a source of uncertainty when we must look how prioritize. It is you who have the power completely in your hands.
Most people have an understanding of the fact that there may be a bit messy when you have young children. In addition, they may also have a bit messy when you visit their home.

Sit down and write on a paper, your priorities, estimate how much time is spent on each item. Find support and help of others (read grandparents) to solve some of your points.
Give yourself time to sit down and create a priority list.

Tip 1:

Create a priority list. By writing down all your information is half the job done. It’s easier to prioritize when you can see the things that steal time, instead of giving you time.

Tip 2:

Allow the cleaning to stand back a bit so you get more time for play.

Tip 3:

Let the children be involved and help you with the list, the children are very wise when they get the chance to show it.

Tip 4:

Ask for help if needed, grandparents are a great asset. Many times they state ”grandchildren is lifes dessert”.

Tip 5:

Learn to spot which of your daily chores take more time than it provides, see if you can make them more efficient or perhaps get rid off.

Tip 6:

Creating a list is a variation on how you can become aware of your goals.

 

Time is not a problem, there is new time coming all the time!
 


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